The Critic's Dish

Server of dry wines and bitter spices.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Project Runway: Iconic Statement.

Greetings, fellow PR fans! I write to you my first critique of Project Runway, starting with episode five, Iconic Statement.

As usual, the episode begun with in the Atlas apartments. It reintroduces Robert kvetching about his second-to-last place finishing last episode and how he can't be boring for the next. I love how he commits to his words (NOT!).

The next scene takes place back on the runway, where Heidi announced that things will be "switched up" a bit. The models were picked out of the *~*velvet bag*~* (as Tim always stated) to pick the designers they desired. We were left with Katia and Javi to boot out of the show. I was outraged. Already the competition isn't really fair to the models, and now they simply make it into some sort of lottery! A travesty it truly was. I was surprised by the lack of response to this as well; Tim doesn't even comment on the switch up in his Tim's Take blog. . Heidi announced that each designer will modernize the looks of previous icons.

The models were taken to the workroom where they had to pummel each other to get to the picture of the icon they thought worked best with their designer.

In end... the results:

Alison: Farrah Fawcett.
Bradley: Cher.
Angela: Audrey Hepburn.
Kayne: Marilyn Monroe.
Laura: Katherine Hepburn.
Vincent: Twiggy.
Michael: Pam Grier.
Robert: Jackie Onassis.
Uli: Diana Ross.
Jeff: Madonna.

Uproar erupted in the workroom once Angela broke the sewing machine. She transferred to someone else's machine and Jeffrey threw a fit. He yelled at Angela that he didn't like her and that she should simply sew her shit herself. Laura stepped in and to my surprise, Jeff responded with attractive quacking in a personal interview. Classy, Jeffrey.

~fast forward~

The runway show arrives and Heidi trots out in an intriguing peasant-in-Zelda outfit. She reminds the designers that they had hair consultation with THE Nathaniel and that the winner will go into Elle as a Tresemme advertisement. And because of this, no immunity! Because that's GREAT reasoning...

Heidi-peasant turns around to introduce the judges. Kors is back to gab about how ugly or ewy the loser's garment is. The camera then pans to Diane Von Furstenberg, a personally favorite designer of mine. Tim was more than right to say that she is masterful with prints. Just look at these:


So... onto the designs.

Alison: I wasn't wowed by the design. I didn't seem overly modern, almost dowdy. I thought that the skirt could've been a little more dramatic AND the fabric seemed a bit cheap, and I don't love the cut of the bust. Most of all, I HATE that hair! But hei, now I'm just projecting taste. Tim said that it was a winner in his eyes, so I guess I should start to detach myself... if possible...

Laura: Laura, I feel, could be one of the strongest designers in the bunch because of just one thing: Everytime a design of hers comes out, I am SURE that it's her's. It's always geometric, clean, and sophisticated. I didn't adore the fabric color of the pants... it could've been more modern. The top, however, is to die for. Laura pulled off a fabulous look that completely shouted Katherine Hepburn.

Uli: Another successful design, but I'm starting to feel that Uli is becoming a one-note. If you look at her other designs, ALL of them contain a dress that has a high bust and a bottom that starts at the bottom of the bust going down, usually ending at the ankles, projecting her Floridian roots and taste. Yes, this was color and a bit of a deviation from her normal, but still I feel underwhelmed by the monotony.

Jeff: Ewww!!! I am getting sicker and sicker of this man's designs. I understand that this is a matter of taste, but please, how many share HIS taste... I mean, enough with the deconstruction already! It even looks shabby as stagewear, no matter how costumey stagewear gets. I can't believe he expects to win this competition...

Michael: Bravo, Michael! I'm so glad to see that he FINALLY got the spotlight on this show, especially after his nonstop breathtaking designs. Coffee cups NEVER looked better in history. Okay, so onto the design. I completely understood what Kors meant with the emotional drama that ensnared the audience of the piece. He grabbed people IMMEDIATELY when Nazri turned onto the runway. I loved the piece even without the hot pants, and now that he added it, he seemed to achieve EVERY aspect of the challenge. Reminiscent yet modern. Pam yet today. A clear win, Michael. You deserve it. (The ad though... it didn't seem to showcase you... I'm sorry...)

Kayne: He created a gorgeous spectacle for the judges; a modern recapturing of Marilyn Monroe. His choice in fabrics, the gothic black leather and stretch was sure to be a winner. He even added a risky yet perfect accessory, the fur strip. Amanda (who I met and is talkative yet an UTTER DOLL who deserves to make it to fashion week) trotted aristocratically down the runway and was able to capture all that was Marilyn. Kayne, if it wasn't for the incredible prowess of your competitors, you'd be the one in Elle today. Actually, wait, didn't I see you in Elle as well?

Angela: It was a strong piece. I mean, I didn't COON over it in any way, but I can see why it was in the top three, AND I could see Diane's point of view that it was timeless. The garment could've held up well in every decade. I thought the accessory, the sunglasses, functioned well with the piece as well. Great job, Angela.

Vincent: Ewww! That was SO gross. I do NOT understand how he could say that the garment was modern. It's circusiana, but NOT modern. I never liked his garments lengths either... they end rather short and then he puts stockings on the model. I think it makes them look matronly and older. The fabric was disgusting and the pockets were, like his baskethat and epaulets, extraterrestrial. He would've been in the bottom two if I were the ultimate judge.

Robert: It was indeed boring. However, I disagree with the judges about how Jackie Onassis wouldn't wear this garment. Tim also said that Diane hushed the judges with her opinion about Jackie; she knew her and she said Jackie would wear that. Take that, Nina. But nevertheless, the fabric was shabby and unkempt and the overall look was yet another bore. Step it up, Mattel.

Bradley: Preposterous. I personally knew that Bradley wouldn't make it very far in the standings. I was always confused and hesitant about his designs from the start... his counterpane and bedridden shrug, remember? I was impressed with his dog outfit, however... I DON'T find it to be a cheap re-creation of Daniel Vosovic's orchid, AND I find it intriguingly modern. All of his designs actually... I would always say to myself "I hate that. (But do I kinda love it?...)" I don't really know. I think Tim was right to say that Bradley has this inner intelligence. He'll hold up in the fashion world. You'll see. Farewell, Bradley Baumkirchner.


Stay tuned for more kvetching and kvelling.


Blogger Trish said...

nice job! we'll be sure to stay tuned!

7:04 AM  

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